How to Know If Someone With a Bad Past Is Suitable For a Relationship

I receive a lot of questions from single folks asking if a certain someone they met recently who has a questionable past and/or has a lot of baggage is worth dating.

What if she's really been around?

What if she's a single mom still in love with the abusive father of her children?

What if he has a criminal record?

What if he admits he's never been faithful to any woman but suddenly he's trying really hard to convince me he's ready to settle down with me?

Let me be clear...

We all have baggage to some degree. We are human and every one of us has flaws by virtue of that fact. No matter how "perfect" you think someone appears to be (sorry and hate to burst your bubble but no one is), they're far from perfect.

And the flip side of that coin also poses a problem. What if you know this person isn't perfect (and you know they're actually far from it), but you are still considering a serious relationship?

In the past before I got married, I personally had some of my own dealbreakers/non-negotiables/red flags that made me eliminate a person entirely from any type of relationship, which were:

I wouldn't date anyone with a criminal record. I wouldn't date anyone who's financially irresponsible. I wouldn't date anyone who I feel is untrustworthy and has bad moral character. I wouldn't date anyone who has never been in a serious, long-term relationship (because often there is some major underlying problem with remaining committed).

Only you can determine what your dealbreakers are when vetting the people you date to ensure they are suitable for you in the long run.

But how do you really know if a person with a questionable past is worth your time and emotional investment? Where you feel you do like them but you're just not sure? How do you know if you should continue along the path moving towards a more serious relationship in confronting their troubled past?

Here's how: