How to Tell If He's Completely Hooked
Sometimes it can be hard to tell if a man is hooked and especially with high value men, unless you have some solid game to match his, you may be in the dark as to how he really feels about you.
However, men are still very straightforward. While they may sit on the fence in the very beginning of a relationship, they tend to show some real signs pointing towards seriousness and commitment.
The main thing you should be concentrating on is not commitment–it's getting a man to love you. Because without real love a man is never really going to commit. His heart won't be in it and it could become a relationship of convenience where he winds up wasting your best years for the entire duration of it.
Back in my player days and even beyond that period of my life, I never aimed for commitment. I wanted a man's love. I wanted his obsession. To me that meant more to me than any title of exclusivity–because I knew no matter whether I stayed with him and committed to him or not, I would remain in his life forever.
He would never forget about me for the rest of his life. No matter the woman he might end up with, I would always remain in his heart.
People love to disparage "alpha widows." The world's dirtiest little secret is that men love harder than anyone. And they love for life. There will always be a burning passion and desire for the woman he falls for.
Sure, you can desire commitment from a man and that is most certainly encouraged. However, a man is going to determine if he's deeply in love with you before he agrees to any type of long-term commitment.
And the thing that so many women get wrong these days is, they don't even want a man's undying, weak-in-the-knees love. Sure, they want commitment but do they understand that men only commit to women they can't see themselves living without?
So let's take a very close look at how a man will behave when he's completely hooked and obsessed with you. Particularly, a high value man because they don't simp. How they love deeply is in complete opposition to anything that can be labeled simping.
Nothing is Going to Stand in His Way from Being With You
Many years ago the popular meme "he's just not that into you" was all over the internet in which if a man displayed any ounce of inattention, aloofness, etc., people would declare to the woman, "Honey, he's just not that into you."
I'm thinking we desperately need to bring that back to the relationship forefront in this day and age especially. Women used to be able to figure it out and understand when a man's intentions weren't just and she should move on and find another man.
The point still stands. He's going to make sure his intentions are known and he's going to be pretty aggressive about it. If not, he's just not that into you.
If he wants to see you, he'll show up at your door. Unannounced too.
He'll be in touch every day.
He will be accountable to you concerning his time. If he's unavailable to talk to you or see you, he will give you valid reasons for it without you having to ask. He'll fully explain himself–because he wants to ensure that you understand he's fully vested and has no interest in wasting your time. And being accountable with his time away from you is something he'll emphasize.
He shows up. With consistency. He will make it very clear to you that he wants to be in your life by being present whenever and wherever he can.
Gives You All His Time and Attention
Doesn't matter how busy he is or what he's doing, he will make time to interact with you. Which goes with the above, if he's unavailable he'll make a sincere attempt to explain himself as to why.
A solid measurement of a man's devotion to you can be determined in how much of his time he's willing to offer you.
Say he's in a meeting he can't get out of but he knows you're waiting to hear from him. He'll text/call/email you and say, "I'm really bummed I couldn't see/talk to you today at such and such time. I was stuck in a meeting," and he'll want to play catch up and make up for lost time.
While it's true that "attention isn't love" (saw that on a video someone sent me today), if he's giving you A LOT of his attention, it can definitely lean more towards real love.
You'll hear from him every day and he'll rarely stay away for too long. Sure, high value men dip out and torture women, but usually this only happens one time before he finally understands that he can't be without you.
If a man is constantly dipping in and out for various periods of time, he's likely not hooked–but he knows you are, which is very often the case in these situations. At that point, it's a relationship of convenience for him where he still remains pretty stingy with his time and remains unwilling to make any compromises.
Makes Plans for the Future in Both the Immediate and Foreseeable
He's always making plans. He wants to take you out, see you, take you to meet his friends, spends time with you doing things that he enjoys and he happily invites you along, etc.
He wants to spend money on you and take you on trips. He plugs you into whatever may be on the agenda and wants to make sure you're along for the ride.
And I'm not talking about empty rhetoric here where high value men play mind games with women leading them to believe they're making plans but at the same time, those plans are never brought to fruition.
Certain men can make it all sound good on paper but unless there's any real action behind those words, those words mean absolutely nothing. And ladies, you must understand that words mean squat. Lots of men will talk a good game because they know that women buy into words–especially the ushy gushy kind uttered in moments of passion.
His actions will always tell you the real story. He will be taking time out of his schedule to be actionable with you and he will be thorough and follow through. Actions speak louder than words when it comes to any plans, present or future.
Respects You Through and Through
Whoa, wait a minute, a man actually respecting a woman?!?
Yes. That's the name of the game as far as a man's devotion to you.
He isn't going to talk down to you. He isn't going to ditch you at the last minute and not show up. He's not going to try to make you do anything you don't want to do and he isn't going to be too much of an asshole about anything.
I'm not sure if the women reading this will think that this sounds like simp behavior because they're unfamiliar with the way a desirable man expresses sincere interest. And you will find that his respect 100/100 times has to be earned.
This is where many women fall short. If they put up with any of his crap and horrible game playing at all in the beginning and/or don't sling it back on him in a way that will make him understand you mean business, he's never going to respect you.
High value men show love one way and one way only–through respect.
He's not going to give you the impression he's using you. He's going to make you feel wanted. He's going to make it clear that he respects you by the way he speaks to you, will appreciate any time you spend with him and will ensure that you are content and excited to be with him.
A simp does none of this. He doesn't care about your respect because he doesn't even respect himself. And therefore a simp isn't going to act in a respectful manner–kissing azz, looking stupid and being a suckup and a pansy is NOT a form of respect towards a woman. It's a form of cowardice.
Men are very straightforward when it comes to being in love with a woman. He shows up, takes action, treats you fairly and isn't coming and going every few weeks and leaving things up in the air.
Always aim for his love before you even think of asking for commitment. Instead of hooking up and asking questions later, get him hooked first and ask questions later.
Love and Many Blessings,
Jenny
Questions or comments on this column? Have an advice question you'd like answered?
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