The Lovepilled Substack - Revolutionary Dating and Relationship Advice
"This is so extraordinarily powerful. It is a game-changer. Not just for yourself but for the people who will feel privileged, blessed and honored to love you. They will feel it deep within—that you are worth more than gold, worth more than any person they will ever be with."
In today's article, I wanted to share with you my latest posts from my Substack page and to remind you if you haven't already joined, you may please do so here:
I will be updating my Substack several times a week and that's where I'll be as far as "social media" as I will no longer be using Instagram for the foreseeable future.
For now, I hope you enjoy these posts that I've decided to republish for you here as they are all very relevant to today's dating scene. They are sure to offer you some real food for thought in helping you see the bigger picture and to realize where singles stand in today's dating and relationship climate (which is becoming extremely favorable for a lot of people who are looking for that special someone).
So let's take a look...
Don't Date Women If You're Broke
"There is some truth to what the late Kevin Samuels rehashed repeatedly in insisting men should get their lives together before they decide to pursue relationships with women.
The question is, how “perfect” do men have to be? How long do they have to wait? How much money is enough to date women? And what does that dictate to men who find themselves struggling in this department more than most?
I’m not sure Kevin Samuels was made aware of the incel problem occuring in modern society but programming men to “get their life together” and wait until they have money in the bank isn’t helping men who have never had a girlfriend.
It also isn’t helping men who aren’t rich, perfect and GQ mag material but who are able, capable and have other qualities to bring to the table that would make them desirable to women.
Like character, wit, strength of mind and tenacity. Like a man who is great with his hands and knows how to fix things. Like a man who is protective of a woman’s interests and stands up for her and has her back when it matters and is necessary.
Money can’t buy any of these highly desirable male traits, which is good news for men when they realize they don’t have to run out and be a billionaire to snag a great gal.
Why should a man wait until he has a million dollars to date women? Sounds a lot like some careerist feminist trope to me. One that is albeit guaranteed to remove a lot of men from the dating pool. Possibly even the gene pool like their careerist women counterparts who find themselves unmarried at 42.
My advice to men is to meet, date women and socialize with them no matter your credentials. We have to learn to work with what he have and not wait for some ship that may never come in.
P.S. I had a guy last year who never had a girlfriend meet a woman who’s crazy about him because he threatened to beat up some guy who was harassing her. They are engaged. Oh, and he was jobless and broke too."
The Future of Dating is Here and It's Amazing
Last year I’d read the tech industry is projecting that social media will begin its descent into obsolescence as people are evolving away from 24/7 mindless consumerism. Especially in relegating people into being products themselves that they have to sell to other people (say goodbye to 6 foot, 6 pack, 6 figures).
Social media users are tired of pain shopping and playing online comparison games. The Haves vs. Have Nots has become profane and monotonous. It’s become boring, uninspiring and unimpressive to everyone.
Online swipe dating has also lost its appeal in this way. I came across a reel featuring the above woman whose friends were making fun of her for using dating apps.
“Duh. No one’s on apps anymore, sis. We’re in running groups now.” Don’t you know that singles are meeting up with other singles and they’re going running together? They don’t need apps.
Thus, if you’re single, you too will have to get with the program. You will have to usher in the idea that you will get to meet people based on shared interests (gosh, who’d have thunk it).
This will also make hookup culture obsolete. It will render perpetual swiping for a newer and shinier model kaput. It will make the perception that “everyone’s disposable and can easily be replaced” die the painful death that it should.
Soon, it will be completely normal for you to meet singles based on taking acting and drama classes. Going to wine tastings. Shuffleboard and cornhole.
It’s about time. People for millennia managed to meet and find their life partner through shared interests, tighter-knit social circles and bustling activities.
You will get to meet your future husband or wife based on how well they can jump out of an airplane.
The dawn of a new day is upon us. Love is in the air."
Here's Why Certain People Are Attracted to You
"As many of you know, I experienced a major upheaval in my life (the understatement of the century) a year ago and I felt certain for a time that my troubles were beyond repair.
My husband got sick with a brain tumor and in the midst of it, my mid 40s hit me like a sledgehammer to the liver. I found myself weathering a midlife crisis and my whole world was flipped upside down into some irresolute pile of despair I no longer recognized (I made it through so if you’re facing anything similar, keep going because this too shall pass, I promise).
However, one thing that has never changed since my youth was how I felt about myself and my romantic relationships. That has always been on solid ground and it will remain on solid ground. How I allow people to treat me says everything about me, not other people.
It doesn’t matter how great or attractive they are.
It doesn’t matter how lonely you are.
It doesn’t matter how much you believe you love them.
And it doesn’t matter how much you think you value them and believe they’re the right person for you.
The moment you accept the way people treat you, whether good or bad, they will discover the real value in you.
You allow people to treat you well, they get to remain in your life. They get to experience your magic. The get to cherish being in your presence and they get the rarer, in-demand rewards of loving you and having access to you.
You allow people to treat you badly, you slam the door in their face and eject them from your life. They do not get to love you. They do not get to experience your life force, your essence, the pureness and peacefulness of your energy.
This is so extraordinarily powerful. It is a game-changer. Not just for yourself but for the people who will feel privileged, blessed and honored to love you. They will feel it deep within—that you are worth more than gold, worth more than any person they will ever be with.
We attract great people who are meant to be in our lives by saying, “You cross this line, you are no longer welcome here. You are no longer able to access my gifts, my love, my radiance,” and by God, they will never cross it.
The people you attract says everything about you. What rubbish are you allowing into your life? Or are you only allowing in magic?"
If You're Not Getting Closer It's Not a Relationship
"With the new dating revolution upon us in full swing, there are still a number of stragglers who are caught up in the consumptive fever and letdown of swipe dating. They think a hot person who wants sex, who exchanges steamy, stone drunk glances and laughs at their corny jokes screams they’re made for each other.
They also seem to equate a really fun first date to getting closer to someone. Not so. A fun date should be the very bare minimum of what singles should be having. Instead, many singles believe that if a date isn’t really stinky and doesn’t end in disaster (that seems to be par for the course), they struck gold.
The sentiment around this dreamy first date dynamic goes like this:
'He/she was so hot (that my hormones were exploding and I immediately thought about having sex with them). We seemed to have a lot in common (I kept thinking about sex), and I swore we had a promising connection (I was imagining having sex). We liked the same music, films and cocktails (I thought about getting drunk so we would have sex) and we shared a great many laughs over a plate of food (where all I kept thinking about was sex). So why on earth did they ghost?'
While sexual attraction is extremely important in a relationship, it is not an indicator that a relationship is even able to happen. Like at all.
And using sex to try and get closer to people is never going to work either (just look at all the folks hooking up with a fair number sleeping with hundreds and they never got a single relationship out of it).
Instead, this is what you should be looking for when getting closer to someone (and this doesn’t happen on the first date so you need to learn to be more patient)…
They are a bit reluctant to tell you about their problems but they can’t help but to look to you for support. And it’s because they actually trust you because they like you (and no, some nincompoop narcissist barfing therapy-speak down your shirt to flex his or her numerous mental diagnoses doesn’t count).
Here’s an example:
“You probably don’t want to hear about XYZ but I didn’t know who else I could turn to and I need your advice. I’m sorry and feel embarrassed for burdening you with my problems.”
This is a person who wants a relationship. They are testing the waters to see if you will be welcoming in extending their honesty and intimacy—testing the waters and treading carefully because they don’t want to ruin the rapport they are building with you.
They don’t want to upset you or scare you away. They don’t want to embarrass themselves. And they definitely don’t want you to think poorly of them. In other words, they are highly conscientious of you and how you perceive them. Thus, they tiptoe on eggshells just a bit in trying to get closer to you.
A person who wants a relationship involving true love and staying power will take these smaller, more careful steps in getting closer to you (as seeking intimacy is so difficult because it makes us feel very vulnerable to the possibility of getting hurt). But they will continue to raise the bar and proceed to put their head on the chopping block towards more intimacy (getting closer).
So ask yourself:
Is this person willing to “hurt himself” to get closer to me? Are they taking these smaller, but bigger and much harder steps in being vulnerable? Do they care about my life and my own everyday problems and circumstances too? Where they’re not trying to be my therapist and give me advice I never asked for but they just seem to want to be there, listen and understand?"
If You Want to Have Game You Will NEED This One Thing Only
"When I talk about game, and execute it, I’m a robot. Most people are very uncomfortable with the fact that when executing game, you have to put all emotions aside and employ logic. Game operates strictly on logic, not feelings.
It’s mechanistic and unfeeling. A person’s humanity shuts off in my mind when they try to hurt me in relationships which is when I will play them. I know how to be charming, affectionate and open up to people (which is also another form of game) but the kind of game that really tears up a person’s insides is when they no longer seem human to me.
We are beasts by that point. The guys I’d played in the past were just cruel people. The Chad types who think it’s funny to humiliate a woman, make her cry and render her unable to eat or sleep for 6 months (part of the game was them never having this kind of power over me and they were always aggrieved as to why).
I’ve mentioned in the past that I could teach people how to be sociopaths but I don’t because it’s unethical. I’m akin an ethical sociopath (with benevolence) like an ethical or white hat hacker. But I remain unconvinced that teaching people to be sociopaths would make them ethical or benevolent. People are power hungry and become sloppy and corrupted too easily.
For example, many women when they get played by a guy like Chad will say, “I wish I could get back at him. I wish I could hurt him just as much as he hurt me. Or worse.”
When I would say, “I know exactly how to get back at him. He will be feeling this sh*t for the next 10,000 years. He’s never going to forget me or any of this so long as he lives.”
That’s how you have game.
And the ONE thing you need to have game is…
Courage.
I’ll say it again. Courage. No game tips or techniques will ever work if you don’t have the courage to execute them.
And what prompts a person to be able to use game and have courage?
Ego. Caring deeply about your own self-image. Caring about your own self-preservation above all. Never wanting to lose (you have to hate the mere idea of losing) and especially not wanting to look stupid with the opposite sex.
I was deathly afraid of looking stupid with men. Terrified of looking like a fool with them. Especially with the more desirable ones.
Anyone can have game but they will need to have a huge ego. They need to be able to spot the ego in others and have the courage to mess with it. They have to be completely unafraid of losing the other person and not care about any outcomes—except the one where you come out on the other side the objective winner.
If this interests you, you can have game and be great at it. If it doesn’t, that’s okay too. You can simply find someone who is more straightforward and is all about love, understanding and mutual respect.
Funny that I married a man who is the aforementioned. No game needed. And he’s the only man I’ve ever loved. Because the bottom line is, the right person for you is someone you will never have to make look stupid."
And there you have it. I call this "revolutionary" dating and relationship advice because there is a real revolution taking place in the way we approach love and making solid connections with the opposite sex.
I'm sure you've seen and felt this shift occurring? Pretty exciting stuff! And I can't wait to see ALL of you find that perfect person to share your lives with (it's happened to sooo many people who have been with me since the beginning and you're next).
Love and Many Blessings,
Jenny
Questions or comments on this column? Have an advice question you'd like answered?
Write me: lovepilled@protonmail.com