Q&A - Should I Play This High Value Man or Not?

Hi everyone, I will be continuing with my series on the proper steps in dating leading to marriage in my next post but in the meantime, I just had to assist this young gal who wrote in today with the following Q&A and provide her with much more clarity on "playing a high value man."

Let's take a look at what she has to say:

Q:

Dear Jenny,

I've been following you on Instagram for quite some time now and recently subscribed to your website as well. To say I've been hooked on your articles is an understatement, but here's what I found...

A lot of your tips seemed to have duality in them. I mean things like:

1. Thrusting a man's ego to the moon and sliding it down to a negative.
2. Pleasing your man while letting him come and go as he pleases, and yet, lay low for days, dipping out as you say.
3. Being a good sport when a high value man is shit testing and yet also have self-respect and cut them off.

I'm confused and unsure of how to go about blending these two polar opposite sides. Or I'm not sure if I understood them wrongly.

I'd love to have a bit more clarity on this, Jenny. And on another note, there's a guy I've been seeing. He is from my previous workplace and we still hang out occasionally. I like him and it looks like he likes me too. He is the high value man you mention in your posts.

This makes me wonder if he is susceptible to the strategies you tell. I fear the possibility of them not working on him. Like if he thinks, "She's trying to seduce me, haha! I won't fall for this."

Please help with this too. Waiting for your response and I'm immensely grateful for your content.

Signed,

Should I Play This High Value Man or Not?

A:

Dear Should I,

Thanks for writing in and also for subscribing.

You raise some valid questions that need to be addressed in plainer terms.

I'll start with your concerns about my more "extreme" forms of "duality."

One being that feeding a man's ego is important and I maintain that it will always be important. It's important to believe in a man and support his dreams, be his muse and help to deeply inspire him to want to be the best man he can be.

However, women tend to get confused about "sliding it down to negative," when he starts being unruly and abrasive, even sadistic at times (they can't help it, it's the testosterone), which often comes standard with high value men.

The higher value men men among us don't think like the average man and they love to play mind games. In fact, they live for it.

If this man you're involved with isn't playing mind games, then you need not worry about playing him. You can simply show up and be feminine, warm and inviting and you should be golden.

But if he is going to play mind games, do you have the guts to have healthy, necessary and clearly defined boundaries with him, especially when he starts treating you like shit?

Like I said, higher value men who have a lot of options, who can afford to be choosy and selective with women, who have the luxury of playing games with the intent of sizing women up for sport comes with the territory.

They look at the world differently and they look at women differently too. And when they shit test you, they are testing to see if you have good moral character, the kind of moral character that will sustain his interest in sea of women who just plain don't have it.

They look at women like pawns until he can find the one who can get to his side of the chessboard where he has no choice but to make a queen out of her.

When this type of man plays mind games with you, they wonder:

Are you a slut?

Are you that easy to get?

Are you going to desperately throw yourself at him like all these other women?

Are you going to try and force him to commit?

Are you going to go crazy?

Are you too slow and can't keep up with him pushing your buttons?

Are you going to go along with him pressuring you for sex meanwhile he's going to judge you very harshly should you decide to cave to it?

Because they DO judge you harshly when you cave, even though they'll have sex with you anyway.

"She isn't what I thought. Oh well, onto the next and hopefully she won't be another one of these [insert cray, slut, etc., here]."

It sucks and it's not fair, but that's exactly how these men think. They morally test women and have little patience (and very little esteem) for women who fail these tests.

I'm not saying the man you're involved with currently is like this at all. But if he is, you need to be psychologically, emotionally, morally and spiritually prepared for all the shit he's going to throw at you.

All the while, you need to bear in mind he will be judging you harshly if you are not able to keep up with him and not fall for his tricks. He will judge you very poorly if you fail in putting up boundaries as a woman.

He will judge you if you fail in being the moral woman he hopes you'll be and tell him to go f*ck himself when he's testing you assuming he can play with your feelings and toss you aside like he does all the other women.

As I said, if the man you're with isn't playing mind games with you, it shouldn't pose a problem and you shouldn't have to rise to the occasion and play him. Maybe he just likes you outright as a woman and doesn't feel the need to test you for anything.

But if you have any inkling he's playing mind games, you better get out your arsenal and be fully prepared or you're going to get your ass handed to you.

Most women don't think this mental and emotional sparring with a man is any fun at all. They just simply want to be with a man like this, all hunky dory, no issues, no bumps in the road (probably not happening, so if you can't hang, be prepared for the fight of your life).

Me? It's definitely it's a lot funner than I like to admit. I'll take a guy like this and make a complete ass out of him. And he'll have never saw it coming. They never do.

If you want to get in the ring with the big dogs, you better bring some of that big game with you. You will have to be much smarter, more well-equipped and be far more prepared to go to war with them and give them a run for their money.

If not, it would be wise to find a guy who isn't going to have this war of wills with you and wants a more straightforward relationship. And only you can determine if the guy you're cajoling with now belongs in one camp or the other.

Love and Many Blessings,

Jenny

Questions or comments on this column? Have an advice question you'd like answered?

Write me: lovepilled@protonmail.com